the pension on talent show

The Pensioner



retired day job if you don’t mind
high (2) grew up pick up (2)
pension palladium marvelous
lovely amazing bear with me
guess absolutely win/won/won
poetry block (2) rock your socks off
knit bear (3) try/tried/tried
vote of course guess what






Side Guys: “

Ayesha: “Hello.”
Jenny Darren: “Hello there.”
Ayesha: “What’s your name?”
Jenny Darren: “My name’s Jenny Darren.”
Ayesha: “Nice to meet you Jenny. Where are you from?”
Jenny Darren: “I’m from the Cotswells.”
Ayesha: “Do you have a day job?”
Jenny Darren: “No, I’m retired.”
Ayesha: “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Jenny Darren: “I’m sixty-eight.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

I grew up in a place called Black Country which is near Birmingham. “Birmingham”, it’s how everyone talks like. It’s higher, higher, higher when they speak.

I’m retired now, you know, I pick up a pension.

Jenny: “We’re all going to be older, aren’t we?

Priest: “Yeah, yeah, exactly.”
Jenny: “And you think, ‘Do it now’.”

Jenny: “It would be marvelous to perform in the London Palladium. The biggest part of English entertainment in history.

Jenny: “So that would be amazing to get four ‘yeses’ today. That would be lovely.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

Simon: “And Jenny, are you doing this because you think you can win the show?”
Jenny: “Absolutely!!!”
Simon: “That’s what it’s about?”
Jenny: “Of course!”
Ayesha: “Okay Jenny. Good luck.”

Jenny Darren: “Okay, just bear with me clappers.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

Side Commentators: “She’s rocked their socks off.”

Amanda: “Oh my god, Jenny. You can rock, baby.”
Jenny: “I try, Amanda.”
Simon: “You’re a little tiger — no, you’re a big tiger. You completely mulled over us. I was thinking we’re going to have knitting or poetry or something. Jenny, I think you are . . . bloody fantastic!”
David: “We’ve heard of Jenny from the block; now we’ve got Jenny who does rock.”
Ayesha: “Let’s take a vote. David.”

David: “I love you Jenny — you’re amazing. I’m going to say ‘yes’.
Ayesha: “It’s a ‘yes’ for me.”
Amanda: “It’s a ‘yes’ for me.”

Simon: “Guess what Jenny Darren; you’ve got four big, fat yeses.”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *


1. Jenny Darren works in an office. True or false? Did she say what she used to do?

2. “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Why did Judge Ayesha say, “if you don’t mind me asking?”

3. Did Jenny say what she was going to do?

4. Was she optimistic or pessimistic about winning?

5. What was the first thing Jenny did for her performance?

6. The audience and judges were shocked and surprised. Is this right or wrong? Why were they shocked and surprised?

7. How did the judges vote? Did everyone like Jenny’s act?


A. Who did you think Jenny was? What did you think she was going to do?

B. I was surprised and shocked by Jenny. Yes or no?

C. Do you see old people singing and dancing and partying?

D. Do young, middle-aged and old people like the same or different types of music? What kind of music do or did your parents or grandparents listen to?

E. Will you and your friends like the same or different types of music when you get older?


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