the 20 year old singer

The 20 Year-Old Singer



fun keep up take it away
funny enter (2) absolutely
horrific off you go what do you do
mile literally look on his face
boo (2) pants (2) snapshot (2)
buzz entertain on behalf of
utterly audience categorically
mob mistake disappointed
honest talented murder (2)
escape emigrate






Side Stage Host: “Take it away. Have fun Donald.”

So, can twenty-year old Donald Bell-Gam keep up the good work?

Simon: “Hi. What’s your name?”
Donald Bell-Gam: “Donald.”
Simon: “Okay, and why . . . why have you entered Britain’s Got Talent?”
Donald: “Huh?”
Simon: “Why have you entered Britain’s Got Talent?”
Donald: “I’m here to entertain myself. Sing.”
Simon: “Great. Alright, and what do you do, Donald?”
Donald: “I’m twenty. I’m twenty-years old.”
Simon: “What do you do?”
Donald: “Oh, uh, singing.”
Simon: “Great. Off you go.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

Simon: “Donald, I could honestly tell you — by a clear mile — you are the worst singer we have had on Britain’s Got Talent.”

Audience: “Boo! Boo! Boo!”

Side Stage Host One: “Look at his face.”
Side Stage Host Two: “He’s not happy.”

Simon: “Completely . . . and . . . utterly horrific!”

Audience “Boo! Boo! Boo!”

Audience: “Sing! Sing! Sing! . . .”

Donald: “And I will always love you!”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

Piers: “Thank you Donald.”

Side Stage Host One: “Keep going Donald. They haven’t buzzed yet, you know. You need three buzzes.”

Donald: “I don’t care what they say, keep me, keep me alive. Keep me, keep me alive.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

Side Stage Host Two: “Well done, Donald. Brilliant.”

Piers: “Donald, I think they’re all missing the point, really, because th . . . they thing about you is you’re so bad — you’re brilliant. You know?

I could listen to you for hours, I really could.”

Side Stage Host, Two: “We just have.”

Piers: “You came to entertain yourself, but you entertained me, the audience, I mean . . . we loved you!

You were horrifically entertaining!”

Simon: “Amanda.”

Amanda: “I am saying an absolute, categorical, one hundred percent, you are pants and you are ‘NO’!”

Audience “Boo! Boo! Boo!”
Piers: “Donald, I have to ask myself one question: ‘Do I want to year you again?’ And the answer is ‘yes’.”

Simon: “Donald, on behalf of Great Britain, it is a resounding ‘NEVER’!”

“It’s just like a mob in here.”

Side Stage Host, One: “How did you feel?”
Donald: “Bad.”
Side Stage Host, Two: “You disappointed?”
Donald: “Yes.”
Side Stage Host, Two: “You feel angry?”
Donald: “Yes.”

Piers: “They’ve made a big mistake. Donald Bell-Gam’s talented in a way that he doesn’t really understand.

But I do.”

Simon: “He just murdered those songs.”
Piers: “I loved Donald Bell-Gam.”
Simon: “And suddenly the audience just literally wouldn’t . . . wouldn’t let him escape. I’m just worried about this country right now. I mean, if this is a snapshot of Great Britain, emigrate?”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *


1. Donald entered Britain’s Got Talent because he wanted to win. True or false?

2. Does he have a day job?

3. Simon liked Donald’s singing. Is this right or wrong? Did the audience agree with Simon?

4. Did Donald sing one complete song?

5. Were Simon and Amanda sympathetic towards Donald? What did they say?

6. The audience and Judge Piers agreed with Simon and Amanda. Is this correct or incorrect?

7. How did the judges vote?


A. I was surprised by Donald’s presentation. Yes or no?

B. Donald’s performance was more entertaining than regular singers. What do you think?

C. Could Donald become a successful entertainer?

D. I have head horrible singers. Yes or no? Who was the worst singer that you’ve heard?

E. Horrible entertainers can be funny. Do you agree?


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