ghetto bar (2) How are you doing
exact full-time good/better/best
allow Marine (2) service (2)
fact side (2) exquisitely
prop regular as opposed to
afford part-time have/had/had
cards other side see/saw/seen
miss mental hold/held/held
cough perfect oh my god
tight assault take/took/taken
wow amazing put/put/put
Miss cool (2) abracadabra
hand pretty (2) shut up (2)
excuse me






Smoothini: “Hi guys.”
Judge Howie: “How are you doing sir?”
Smoothini: “I couldn’t be better: look at this. Look at this. Look at this.”
Judge Howie: “What is your name?”
Smoothini: “I am Smoothini.”
Judge Howie: “You are Smoothinie?”
Smoothini: “The ghetto Houdini.”
Judge Howie: “Like Houdini?”
Smoothini: “But ghetto.”
Judge Howie: “But ghetto.”
Smoothini: “Yes sir.”
Judge Howie: “You are magician then?”
Smoothini: “Yes sir a bar magician, to be exact.”
Judge Howie: “A BAR magician? Well, this is a big bar here. So have you been doing magic all your life? Is that what you’ve been doing?”
Smoothini: “I was a Marine.”
Judge Howie: “Well thank you for your service.”
Smoothini: “You’re welcome. Hurrah.”
Judge Howie: “And you’re no longer in the Marines.”
Smoothini: “No sir.”
Judge Howie: “Are you doing this full-time?”
Smoothini: Yes sir.”
Judge Howie: “And how is it going for you?”
Smoothini: “It could be a lot better in about five minutes.”
Judge Howie: “Okay let’s see you do what you do.”
Smoothini: “Am I allowed to go close to you guys?”
Judge Howie: “You can, yes.”
Smoothini: “All right. Thank you very much.”
Judge Howie: “You’re welcome.”

.     .     .     .     .     .     .     .


Smoothini: “Now think about bar magic as opposed to regular magic is the fact
that I don’t use big props; I don’t, I can’t afford them.

And . . . that’s all I have in the world. Now think about magic that happens close to your face, is that it has to be performed exquisitely. Okay notice I used that work correctly but . . . Excuse me.

Judge Howie: “He coughed out those cards.”

Smoothini: “But honestly I just do not like card tricks because . . .

Judge Howie: “That’s amazing!”

Smoothini: “But I have a beautiful six-year-old son. And I want to do something to you Miss Mel that my little boy likes. Let’s see you your hands . . . the other side.

Thank you. Perfect I’m gonna take this ball put it right about here. I want you to hold that ball real tight for me. Thank you.

With that ball there and that ball there, I gonna go abracadabra . . . Open up your hand.

Judge Mel B: “Shut up! . . . Shut up!”

Smoothini: “Let me mentally assault you too on the other hands . . . Because I am ghetto . . .”

Judge Howard: “Wow! Wow!”
Judge Howie: “He’s good.”
Judge Mel B: “That’s good!”
Judge Howie: “Woo!”

Side Host: “Pretty cool.”

Audience Member: “Oh my God!”

Smoothini: “Thank you. That’s not my name though . . . That is the name.”
Judge Howie: “Wow!”
Judge Mel B: “Wowzer!”

Judge Howie: “WOW!”

Smoothini: “Thank you!”

Judge Howie: “You are amazing!”

Side Host: “Whow!!! Smoothini!”

Smoothini: “Thank you. Thank you.

Judge Howie: “You are amazing!”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *



Head. The performer’s name is Leopold Franklin Montgomery. True or false?

Eyes. Does Smoothini come from a rich, upper-class neighborhood?

Hair. Has he been working as a magician all his life?

Nose. Smoothinia performed on stage. Is this right or wrong?

Mouth. What’s the difference between a regular magician and a bar musician?

Face. Did he do a regular card trick?

Lips. What did Smoothini do with the salt and juice?

Ears. Did he write a message on a sheet of paper with the pen?

Neck. The audience and judges though Smoothini’s performance was boring and bad. Is this correct or incorrect?
Shoulders. I have seen magic performances. Yes or no?

Stomach. Are there myths, legends and folktales regarding magic and sorcery?

Arms. I wish I could perform magical feats. I wish I could do magic. I wish I had magic powers. True or false?

Hand, Fingers, Thumb. If you had magic powers, what would you do? If I had magic powers, I would . . . .

Legs. If everyone had magic powers, would this be good, bad, both or in the middle?

Foot, Feet, Toes. What might happen in the future?

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